Water for Elephants

"Water for Elephants"
Starring: Robert Pattinson, Reese Witherspoon, Christoph Waltz, Hal Holbrook, Paul Schneider
Directed by: Francis Lawrence
122 minutes
USA/2011

Pay little attention to the advertisements and marketing strategies that suggest Water for Elephants is a nice little prestige film to end the spring film season on. Here is a film with with no imagination, save for the outrageous notion of casting Robert Pattinson as the lead protagonist. Now, judging by where this is headed, one could guess that Elephants is a complete waste of time, and for the most part it is. But, for those who throughly enjoyed the novel, is this a complete waste of time?

In my estimation, Water for Elephants probably plays better on the page than on the screen. While watching the film, it's easy to identity the parts that would play out well in the novel. The film starts in present day as an old, but cognizant man stands in front of a circus entrance as it's closing for the night. This is Jacob, played by veteran actor Hal Holbrook. He's wandered from a elderly home and finds himself reminiscing with a circus aficionado, played by Paul Schneider. As they get to talking, Jacob notices pictures on the wall reminding him of his youth, his eyes start to water and soon enough Jacob is telling this man his life story. Sure enough, Robert Pattinson plays the younger version of this man. Pattinson's Jacob is a clean cut veterinary student days away from receiving his degree when tragedy strikes. He eventually stumbles onto a train containing a third-rate traveling circus, run by the sadistically charming ringmaster August, played by Christoph Waltz. August's wife Marlena, decked out with platinum blonde hair and a slim build is played by Reese Witherspoon.

It's all very familiar, and familiar is fine as long as the film has some interesting perspective or nature about itself. No such luck here, Elephants is perfectly content with presenting the most watered down and sappy narrative, coupled with the tragic flaw of its main characters having zero chemistry. It's the young Pattinson, who lacks serious depth. In this film, Pattinson's bread and butter acting move is a reactionary smile, or a telling laugh that is repeated way too often. He holds the film back, not from being great or even good, but from being tolerable. The love triangle between Jacob, Marlena, and August is hardly convincing, each actor seems to be acting in a different movie. Witherspoon is neither awful or memorable, just caught up in sub-par work that must've seemed intriguing at the start. Waltz, who delivered the best acting performance in 2009, is going through the motions here, but he at least carries a presence with him when he's on screen.

After the first third, the film slogs along at a snails pace, and there are no pit-stops throughout that provide an ounce of comedy or excitement. You would think a film revolving around a traveling circus would possess a few secondhand quirky characters that could get a chuckle out of the audience, not a chance. We're being tortured as much as the elephant in the film, who is repeatedly abused by August for not performing the right tricks. But don't worry, there is a remedy to the elephant's problems, just speak Polish to it and all will be fine.

Water for Elephants was directed by Francis Lawrence, who made the semi-bearable sci-fi films Constantine, and the more recent I Am Legend. Lawrence has no strangle hold on this film, as many scenes wander astray without providing the hint of who these characters are and what they want. The look of the film is shrouded in a depression era sets, all having little creativity or sense of wonder, like the elephant, we're trapped in this glorious mess.

Grade: 1.5/5